upsy daisy

so sorry i had abandoned you for more than a month bloggie... :( my modem hasn't been fixed yet and i also dont have both the time and the mood to write... ifonlyyouknowhowhecticmylifehasbeen.. thanks God it's holiday already... so here i am.. on a comfy cloudy saturday.. in a BANK.. yeah.. bank.. queueing up like crazy.. but it's ok though.. i got time to write bcause of this anw.. i had lots of thoughts as usual..i always think too much.. but since it's still christmas season,i'd like to write about hope and maybe my resolution for 2010.. ups! my numb had been called..! i'll cont on my next post,kay? tata~

Thank You SO Much Father

Oh God!
My day felt like really upside down between in the morning and after i got my report paper
I was hyper afraid that i can't get my report paper since my tabulasi score was not really good
I was freakin' nervous when mr tjoriman entered my class and when he only called 5 names (and no me) i felt really blank.. I begged to God for every sec so that my teacher can call my name
And after a few minutes of 'almost crying' moment (i cried a bit though)
Suddenly mr tjoriman called one of my classmate's name !
And i started to beg to God that mr tjoriman call my name
And surprise!
My name was called!
I'm freakin' damn excited that time
I don't care how my marks are, as long as i can get my report paper
I felt so relieved
Thanksthanksthanksthanks Father
Thanks so much
As what i had promised You, i promised i will study harder for the semester test..
:)

And i can do the trigono questions at axel!
Yippie..
Thanks again Father..
I believe You had gave me a great future..

Lovethisdaysomuch (ketularan pela.. Haha)

I'm gonna smile cause i deserve to...

Dunno how to write it out...
I just felt that i am lost..
I met him today when i am at TP 2 watch 2012..
Usually.. Well.. He would gave me a smile everytime i saw him.. But today.. No.. Not at all.. I didn't even think that he looked at me though he talked with my friend... God.. I know that every smile that he gave me doesn't mean anything.. But can he at least just gave me a simple smile? Yeah, i know i don't have the right to.. But.. I miss him so much..
It's really hard for me to forget u boy...

I dreamt of him last night..
Which made me miss him more...

Dunno what had happened with me...
Can u help me, God?

I miss u blue boy..

I miss him
That's all that i can describe about how i'm feeling rite now..

I had just watched the movie 'Definitely, Maybe' it's about love that has lost contact and then they realised that they are in love with each other.
And this story definitely makes me think about my love life..
I want to fall in love with someone else,feel the rushing heartbeat,get excited w/o any particular reason,have someone to make me smile,have someone to know how to treat me,and to hold my hand.
Too much?
Sorry, but that's what i truly feel..
But the problem is, my heart can't let him go.. I don't know why but my heart is afraid to forget him and this feeling..
I don't know.. I just don't know..
I still put my hope in him.. Probably because he IS the one that my heart feels the most 'right' person..
And there's still no boy that can change his position in my heart..
He will always be my first love..



Miss u so much Blue Boy..

Lost

I feel that i had lost my mood with school..
I'm really clueless about why the hell i go to school everyday..
I mean, i only come to school to gossip,chat,talk,sleep,go to toilet,eat, n then home..
Really pointless,rite?


Maybe it's because i've found what i want to study in the future which is art, that's why i only want to serious in drawing n english and i've lost my mood in all the other lessons..
Huah..
What should i do to gain my mood?

Two girls day out !

Me and my cousin,jowi went to sun today...
But no kuku today, coz she went to siantar with her friend..

Anw..
We watched The Proposal, a romantic comedy movie..
The movie is indeed very hilarious, makes me laugh from start until the end..
But it also has a great plot..
So i made it as a "must watch movie" and one of my most fav movie...



Ok, i lied
Well, the true reason of why i made the movie as my fav movie; beside the great story n makes me laugh a lot is that Ryan Reynolds (Andrew Paxton, the main lead) is freakin' handsome..
Oh God..
He has the kind of innocent face that makes my heart melts.. XD
(Aaw..)
And he's the 1st Western Actor that i think awesome.. XP
Haha
(The only drawback is that he's married to Scarlett Johannson! ) T-T
But i still think that he's cute.. :P


And i had watched the last episode of Ethan Ruan's serial "My Queen" today..
Aaw.. I don't want the movie to end! :'(
I still want more Ethan!
Huh
Guess i have to wait until his next movie to be released.. (He cut his hair bald in this serial which i think really dissappointing since he had such a great hair style.. But i still love him a lot XD )
Hehe

What fun day =)
Keep cherish every happiness

Still the girl who tries to think positive..

I got my test result and all that i can say is i'm super duper speechless when i see my score...
I still can't believe how can i got red mark on chemistry as i can do the questions... *Sigh*
I almost cry that morning..
I feel very lazy n stupid really..
I mean, i don't know what to do if i am not able to get my result paper..
I must be lying if i said i'm not afraid..


But then, after i thought about it for a long time, i realised that no matter how sad i am, my score won't get better and all that i can do is face the future, yes, i'll fight for semester exam!
Fighting!
Help me God..



I miss him u know...
Miss him a lot... =(
Wanna see his smile badly...
Ouh, he is still the medicine for my problem... (Am i too lebay? :P but at least that is what i really think)

-positive-positive- ;)

Opportunities

Hey ya bloggie!
It's been a really no connection month for me because my modem is not in a good condition and i also had just repaired my handphone (that's why i can post now)

So, quick review of this month...
I feel that this month had showered me with lots of opportunities for my future...
I went to NAFA seminar and gained a lot of great information...
And lately i found out that Lasalle will hold a seminar this Sunday!
Oh sunday,i can't wait for ya!

I've been thinking about modelling world these days since fan approached me to join kath to a modelling agency...
I know that i'm pretty tall and modelling world seems pretty fun..but i'm still not confident enough...
I don't feel that i'm the kind of girl that boys will think attractive..
Argh..
Can i?


Anyway,
I must admit that i still can't over him yet...
I still think of him, want to see him, want to hear his voice, and my heart still beats as fast as a rocket whenever i met him accidentally...
Can i keep on loving u?
I'll be okay though if u don't remember me anymore, if u fall in love with someone, if and if...
I promise that i'll be strong...


You probably don't know how i feel..
Your days probably will not include me..
Not even your memories..
It's only me, the one watching you..who is silently crying..


-jun0-

very ashamed! >.<

I had just realised that i made so many grammar mistakes in my posts!
Oh God!
I'm so ashamed with myself.. =(
I should start to pay more attention in my english class in order to graduate my advance class proudly..
Yes i CAN !!
Yosh!


Tell me why.. U're so hard to forget..
Why when i want to forget u, u gave me that smile again...
Tell me why...

Ran away

My life had been oh so messed up since i'm back to medan from my holiday...
Crying..crying..n crying..
Actually sometimes i do regret my decision..
it was all because of him that i'm still here..
But as things happened and i felt that everything just didn't work out, why do i'm still here then?
I really want to ran away...really...
I feel that people here just don't care with me..
Probably i'm just a burden to them..
I'm just alone here..
And..
I want to erase him...from my mind,my heart,n my soul...
But can i..?
But one thing, i never regret falling in love with him though i want to forget him...



Owh..
I don't want to procastinate(do i type it right?) again...
Argh..
As things just never become great whenever i procastinate i..
I felt so frustated when i see my score...
Argh..
So my goal now is :
- try to stop my stupid habit--procastinating task
- raise my average score
- get rank 1-3 at winf
- join writing competition n win it
- join my drawing class seriously
- study more
- be a nicer girl


P.S : miss my family so much

back from my holiday...

i had just back from my holiday in KL...^^
it's kinda fun actually..
me n my mom shop a lot there ;p
haha
and we had lot of fun in Genting..=)
it's the first time i play lots of roller coaster in one day...
hahaha waiting for my upcoming holidays...

..some pics..

in the ferry to SG

@ Genting

i really would like to download few more photos as i got tons of it..
but i'm feeling so sleepy now...
so bubye ",
i'll continue next time

who can make me smile ? HIM...

I'm baaaaaackkkk....
huah... miss u so much bloggie...
i've been so busy until i forhot about blogging these few weeks.. =P
sorry...


so,
i got my test result...
and to be honest i'm NOT so happy with it...
i think i can do more for sure...
so i'll study harder for my next monthly test...
i promise...


my class had grew more personality these few days...
we got noisier and... noisier...
lol
but sometimes i still feel so lonely in that class...
humph...
miss my besties cia2 for sure...


i also join some remedial test for my bad marks...
though i hope my essay can make it better, but my report hasn't been given to us yet, so i have to predict my score n i decided to join the remedial test for 3 subjects..
n so far so good...



saw him on my way home today...
just by seeing him smiling n walking with his friends makes me smile in my car...
oh GOd...
i really still not over him yet...
i still heart him so much,,,
dunno when i can over him....


still hoping actually....



anw, it's 12.30 already and i'm pretty sure i'll woke up late again this morning..
lol

so off to dreamland first
bubye...


Postscript : Ask all of your cousins handphone number... believe me, u're going to need it one day...

forget him, J !

"forget" "delete" "erase"
i think about those words a lot lately...
uh...
should i?

everytime i saw him i always try to avoid him...
i dunno...
this is the best thing that i can do...
but when he saw me ( sometimes he smiles at me after he saw me ), i felt so so so happy..
so can u tell me what should i do?
this love thing is killing me..


J,
stop dreaming...
should say goodbye?

namun salahkah aku bila kupendam rasa ini...

love that vierra song!
the lyric is so nice!

anyway, it's the last day of exam today..^^
hip hip
i went to TP with my besties..
watch Redline...
kinda cool movie actually, but i think it's "terlalu mudah ditebak"...
haha

i've also decided to buy that cute jacket from faith shop...
gee, it's the first time i shop online...
hope it's great...
actually i also want to buy that cute dress from inghouse..
but i'm afraid the size is too big =(
actually i reeeeaaaallllyyyy want it... >,<


btw,
my amak is back to medan today..
when i'm writing this, she's still in the airport...
wonder what i get as 'oleh - oleh'
haha

Quote : " Sometimes,something that you're afraid of is something that u really want "

( from Redline XP )

my hobbies these few days

argh...

forget to wrote it on my last post..

hehe

i'm falling i love with online shop these few days...

hahaha

i love to see the dresses.. the jacket... the acc..

ah....

and i'm also crazy with making "pisang bakar" these few days...

it's my yummy snack...

everytime when i'm hungry n have time i always made it...

hehe

tadaa... here's my magnificent cooking... hahaha

anw,

i feel interested with culinary world these days...

dunno why...

just love it...

i'm searching for easy cake recipe that doesn't need oven to make it ( is there any?? haha )

because i don't have any oven in my house =(

**looking forward to any new exciting hobbies**

Here I am...

Okay..
it's past 1 o'clock
and i'm still haven't touched my bahasa indo...
hahaha

well, i usually never study that lesson every monthly test too anyway.. =P
idk... just felt really confident that i can do it...
it's kinda easy actually..
maybe tomorrow i'll just review it and then start my exam..
hahaha


anw,
can anybody tell me how to change my blog's skin??
i've tried open www.blogskins.com and it still doesn't work...
humm....
help...
i've forgotten my CSS subject.. lol



" u're too sweet to forget...
...
maybe u don't love me the same as i love u... "
happen to hear this song when i wrote this
love those lyrics.. <3

Pushing u out from my heart.. should i ?

him him him
a topic that i often wrote here ( i guess )

dunno why but i felt really sad today =( ( start from the evening actually )
*sigh*
love him but...
almost all the people i know ask me to forget him...
they said " there are many boys in sutomo.. why do you stuck on him ?? "
hello ??
loving someone isn't as easy as stopping a bus!
anyway,
i also don't want to fall in love with anyone for awhile..
you know, loving someone is tiring for me...


i love u, but..
by the way,
i also have been thinking about that these few days..
forget him...
but how?
how if i still feel really happy every time i saw him?
how if i still wanna see his smile every day?
can anyone tell me?

yeah...
i know we don't keep in touch anymore...
i even dunno if he still sees me as friend or a stranger now...

*sigh*

love him but...
why i feel that he is in love with a girl?
my mind is killing me...

do i still have a chance...?


love him... always...

crying alone

15th n 16th aug
left alone in my room
with opui as my roomate tonite
i was hoping that he didn't make any trouble..
but..
i woke up at 2 a.m and found out that he bite my lovely bolster until the foam came out...
i was so sad, so i cried like crazy for probably 15 minutes or more i guess..
well, maybe u'll think that.. " it's only a bolster, why should u cry so much for it? "
and i'll say.. " it's not only a bolster.. i treat it like a part of me already.. "
" when i had problems, and i cry on my bed, my bolster is the only thing that knows.. when i'm happy, until i can't sleep, my bolster knows... and when i'm alone.. my bolster accompany me.. " it means so much for me..
i'm just hoping that ethan won't be naughty anymore..


okay..
so in the morning ( woke up late. lol )
i went to SC..
study physics
do questions ( as usual )
bla3..
chit chatting with my gals..
bla3...


then went to car's home..
had a lot of fun ( well, at least better than if i'm alone at home )

and now..
i'm updating my blog...
haha
what a day...

waiting 4 u amak...
back to medan quickly pleaseeee
so desperate without u...
hehee...

Life.exam.him

Finally my mom had paid my telephone bill and i can online again..! XD
yippie...!!

Okay... My life so far...

9th Aug..
Had my SC course that day.. Because i arrived late,i was dumped to 3rd floor..
I.m.a.g.i.n.e
As soon as i arrived at the 3rd floor, the first people i saw is him! And i can't see my friend there.. Can u imagine how shock i was ?? And then i do some stupid mistakes that i still regret until today.. =(
But at least i still got that 'senyuman 1000watt' (am i too lebay? Hehe..)

10th aug
I almost cried bcoz of chemist today.. :'(
Ugh..

11th aug
Done well on english n civics today.. Yippie! ^^

12th aug
I think i done pretty well in biology.. =)

And when in sc, i felt so not in the mood to do the math questions, but when he came, he gave me that 'senyuman 1000watt' suddenly i felt excited to do the questions.. Haha..

13th aug
NO test today.. Yippie..

14th aug
I think i did well on math today.. I missed 1 n a half question, can't do 1,n no ans 1..

And it's rainin' cats n dogs today..
But mom had paid my telephone bill n i can blog again..! Yip yip..>u<

I'll continue next time.. Pae..

o..n..l..i..n..e

I'll online from my handphone for a few days... Cause exam will be coming n i am not planning to spend any money so i can online from my PC... Haha..

So like what i've said just now...
Exam is coming really soon, and i go to my tuition almost everyday to do tons of killing math,physics n chemistry questions... However, i kinda enjoy it actually.. Haha.. I hope that with this i can get better score.. =)


-hope that i can find time to write my probs-
xoxo :D

@ school, 4th floor, XI Science 9 class...

Ah.. Xo bored.. N0t in the m0od 2 study today... I'm chit chatting with suvie @ chemist lesson.. Hahaq..

Ah.. The bell has just ring...
Pae

Under the sea...

okay, there's not even a single connection between the title of my post with what i'm going to write.. lol.. i was just happen to hear this song when i write this post... XP
anyway, there's nothing particular happen today actually... in the morning i went to school for my ex-co.. then i went to SC.. study math n finish my chemistry questions... after 2 stressing hours that almost make my brain exploded... i went to fetch my kuku at KL (kampung lalang..lol)... then we went to yang lim, ate "almost afternoon lunch", went to palladium, bla3... ( have i made u bored by reading this? wkaka)
well.. at night when i open fb, i feel really really wanna chat with him, but my silly computer can't chat, because everytime i open a conversation, it'll turn into "not responding mode" ( stressing right? ) and my princess blackie also went silly by can't make me receive any message, n my princess bluie is still in the hospital =( [ wonders when she will out from there.. mixx her so much! ]
so all of my gadget had really success in making me stressed.. but well, i choose to be patient... i believe everything will be better.. =)


oh yeah,
i wanna read "the host" by stefenie meyer... hope it'll be publish soon..!
i love the tagline, hope the story will also be great...

anyway, i also read my horoscope for august, and it said that it;ll be a great month for me =) [ esp for the edu n romance part, hahaha.. hope the horoscope is right ;p ]


hoping for a better tomorrow...
sincerely,
juno

Humm...

it's been a loooong time since the last time i post my last entry...
i've been so busy with my schedule n also not really in the mood of writing.. =(

but hopefully my mood is getting better already..
well, my probs is still not really being solved..but it's not that horrible anymore.. =)

hum..
where to start...

my life so far..
1. i go to science 9..(huff,, hate it bcoz it's located in the 4th floor... T-I-R-E-D in climbing up my school building u know..)
2. probs with my big family..(ops! haven't told my granpa yet! >.<)
3. i find out that my school's monthly test will be on the 10th of aug.. n we have essay question this year..(WHT?? it's really killin' me... i feel really really afraid..esp for my biology..)
4. still... (why everytime i saw him.. i fell in love with him again n again...? n last nite i dreamt of him.. >,<)
5. love wednesday n friday!! >u< ( b'coz i don't have math lesson in those days.. hahaq.. my math teacher is realllyyyy booooringgggg.... i always fell asleep in his lesson.. hoahm.. -o- )

so that is my life so far until today...
wonder what will happen in a few days later??
who knows.. but i hope it will be better.. ^u^

nite~

Speechless...

got my "a year class" announcement today... T_T
hate it..
why i go to science 9??
why?why?why?
i feel that i wanna cry... T_T
huhuhu

Just Smile =)

I watched MJ memorial thiz morning until 3 a.m... haha
and there is thiz wonderful song...
i think i know why MJ can love thiz song...
i dunno how to explain it..
so i'll just paste the lyrics here... =)

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile with your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile

if you’ll just…
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just…
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You’ll get by…

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just Smile…

That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just Smile...

a very heart touching song right?

Boring...boring...

dunno what to do today...
feel so bored...
humm...

i wanna watch ice age 3 ei...
hahaha...


i will probably just sit in front of my PC today...
ugh...

Depressed Moments

From about 3 to 4 o'clock in the afternoon today is the most depressing time of my life (so far)

It all started from my friend told me that my school website can be access already...
So I ran upstairs and open the internet...
I type my school website with a smile on my face ;p
wkaka...
but!

what a damn luck for me... :(
the website said that because i don't have Adobe Reader, i can't see where my class is..!!
ugh
so i have to download Adobe Reader again... and waited for probably 2 hours..( I almost transform into "the hulk" at this moment)
but thanks to my brothers.. I can waited patiently..
because we had a pillow fight!
huahaha...

after the most 'deg2an'(i dunno what the english for deg2an, i'll find it out later..lol) 2 hours of my life....
Taraa...!!!
i can see my class!!
yippie!!^^
i go to Science 8 ( so many 8 thiz year...)..
well, thiz is not my "a year class yet" ,because there will be some changes again in july..
so i hope i can ..................... (secret) in my "a year class"
haha...

Makes me dizzy ~.~

~...humm...~
...still trying to edit2 my blog...
...it's kinda easy actually, but also makes me dizzy e...
..and it's so much fun too..

-can anyone tell me how to change the template??-
..but i dnt want the template that is from the list that blogspot gave..
how..how..how..?

One of my friend said that today....
My school will publish our class in the website...
But i can't even open the website!! damn it..!
The website wrote something ' bandwith2'...
huh

how can i know my class e??

My first post..

hm... what should I write...
I've just made my blog today.. so still dunno what to write...
haha...