Blow me one last kiss...

Currently in love with this song by P!nk, it's about relationship, but somehow i see this song as the situation that i feel now..


White knuckles
And sweaty palms from hangin' on too tight
Clenched shut jaw
I've got another headache again tonight

Eyes on fire, eyes on fire
And they burn from all the tears
I've been cryin', I've been cryin'
I've been dyin' over you

Tie a knot in the rope
Tryin' to hold, tryin' to hold
But there's nothing to grab
So I let go

I think I've finally had enough
I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us
Blow me one last kiss

You think I'm just too serious
I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning, so
Blow me one last kiss

Just when it can't get worse
I've had a shit day
You had a shit day
We've had a shit day

I think that life's too short for this
Want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this
Blow me one last kiss

I won't miss all of the fighting
That we always did
Take it in
I mean what I say when I say there is nothing left

No more sick whiskey dick
No more battles from me
You'll be callin' a trick
'Cause you no longer sleep

I'll dress nice, I'll look good
I'll go dancin' alone
I will laugh, I'll get drunk
I'll take somebody home

I think I've finally had enough
I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us
Blow me one last kiss

You think I'm just too serious
I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning, so
Blow me one last kiss

Just when it can't get worse
I've had a shit day
You had a shit day
We've had a shit day

I think that life's too short for this
Want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this
Blow me one last kiss

Da da da da
Da da da da
Blow me one last kiss

I will do what I please
Anything that I want
I will breathe, I will breathe
I won't worry at all

You will pay for your sins
You'll be sorry, my dear
All the lies, all the why's
Will all be crystal clear

I think I've finally had enough
I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us
Blow me one last kiss

You think I'm just too serious
I think you're full of shit
My head is spinning, so
Blow me one last kiss

Just when it can't get worse
I've had a shit day
You had a shit day
We've had a shit day

I think that life's too short for this
Want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this
Blow me one last kiss

Na na na na
Da da da da
Na na na na
Da da da da
Blow me one last kiss

Na na na na
Da da da da
Na na na na
Da da da da
Blow me one last kiss

Just when it can't get worse
I've had a shit day
You had a shit day
We've had a shit day

I think that life's too short for this
Want back my ignorance and bliss
I think I've had enough of this
Blow me one last kiss

어떻게..?

Pressured. This is the dream that i always wanted, but why do i feel very burdened in doing my college assignments now? shouldn't i feel happy doing it because it's what that i always dreamed of? Lecturer, Parents, Family, and even myself demand me to make the best out of every project, and in the end i feel very pressured and today while on my way home i realized that i don't feel the freedom of expressing myself at all though ironically i'm studying in an art school, where people perceived that its students are a bunch of free people in expressing their ideas. I admit that skill-wise I am not as good as some students, brain-wise? Am I not creative enough to survive? Come to think of it, my works never got praised as few of the best, though i also never those who got extremely criticized, but I am those who are in the middle, grey and forgotten.
And socially, I am not the friendliest girl in class, and i feel awkward when it comes to talking to people whom i recently knew. I want to change myself, to not be this introvert, but it's hard. I tried, and always ended up blaming myself when i failed. So i ended up, keeping everything to myself, shut my mouth and stay in the background, forgotten. And suddenly now everything just strikes me. My heart can't take all of these anymore, too much words left unsaid, too much pressure here and there, i'm at the point of breaking down, but i can't cause it won't make anything better. Maybe i think too much, and i demand too much from myself.
I am such a let down wasn't I?

Jess