Lost : Soul and Passion

At some point i thought i had lost both my soul and my passion. I have a tons of assignment, piling up, waiting to be done, i know procrastinating won't help at all, yet i am still doing it. I am scared that i won't get anything done, yet i didn't do anything to overcome my fear. I am so lazy. Yeah, lazy is the most suitable word now. I thought specialism will change everything, yet i am still the same girl, waiting for the last minute to wrap everything up. I thought that in specialism, at least i will get more excited to do the work, but i was shocked to learn that i am learning more of architecture design instead of interior, and it was not as easy as how i thought it would be. A lot of process, research, practice and thinking need to be done and all my passion just went out from the room. Yes, i sound so annoying at this point, i feel like a girl who is not impressed with everything, and start blaming for everything. Design world is tough, it's like learning all subjects all together. And I am baffled by my own thoughts. I don't want to be like this, spending my day doing practically nothing while holding on to the thought of fear that i can't make it in this industry. I want to be better yet i don't know which way i should go. What should i do? Eottoke?

Jess

Baby there's no no no more tomorrow...

Tomorrow

Passing by to post this song by Tablo (Epik High) feat. Taeyang. Enjoy! :)

Lyrics

English Translations

[TaeYang]
No no no no more tomorrow
No no no no more tomorrow

You got someone's love, that doesn't mean that you have it
You keep walking, that doesn't mean time passes
You keep breathing, that doesn't mean you're alive

[Chorus]
Baby there's no no tomorrow
I'm still exactly the same as then
The time stopped right at the last moment
However it's just the past to you
Baby there's no no no no more tomorrow
(till you come back everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no more (no more) tomorrow

[Verse 1]
The memories which were tearing my heart apart
They're now ripped off the calendar
They're fading as the year goes by
I pretend to live forgetting you
My world is still same (only there's no you)
They're telling me that afterwards I will smile recalling the past
For me it's not even easy to raise my head which was facing you
Why do they keep talking even though I don't even wanna hear them
I'm staying here
Don't say that tomorrow is the new day
(the morning will be darker than the night with you)
Don't say that after a storm comes the calm
(the calmness will be more anxious than the worries with you)
Everything is a mess
It's spring again to you but my season don't change
Even though my heart blossoms (I've got no tomorrow)

[Chorus]
Baby there's no no tomorrow
I'm still exactly the same as then
The time stopped right at the last moment
However it's just the past to you
Baby there's no no no no more tomorrow
(till you come back everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no more (no more) tomorrow

[Verse 2]
It's a dead smile which is empty inside
They say I look even better than when I with you
That they can stop worrying about me now
But I can't breathe
This smile can not deceive me (yeah)
I became normal
I emptied my heart a lot because it became a burden
I'm going crazy
Stop telling me your consoles because I don't want to hear them (please stop)
They say that the cure of love is another love
(the meeting will be more lonely than a farewell to me)
They say that the time fixes everything
(the life will be same as if I'm dead every second)
Yes
You got someone's love, that does not mean that you have it
You keep walking, that does not mean time passes
You keep breathing, that does not mean you are alive
Now i know that
No no more tomorrow
No no more tomorrow

Till you come back
No no no more tomorrow
(no more) till you come back to me
No no no more tomorrow

[Chorus]
Baby there's no no tomorrow
I'm still exactly the same as then
The time stopped right at the last moment
However it's just the past for you
Baby there's no no no (no more) tomorrow
Till you come back
Everyday is yesterday (Everyday)
Baby there's no no no (no more) tomorrow
Till you come back
Everyday is yesterday (Everyday
No no no no more (no more) tomorrow
Till you come back everyday is yesterday (Everyday)
No no no no (no more) tomorrow

Jess

Happy Hunger Games!

Watched 'The Hunger Games' yesterday, and i finally can heal some of my sadness due to the fact that MBC (Korean TV station who aired We Got Married) is going to stop showing WGM for a while due to a strike that is going on in the company. Tell you the truth i feel so sad when i am reading the article. I really really really hope it's not true. Or even if it is, i hope that the strike won't take too long.

So anyway, back to the first topic, i watched Hunger Games and it was AWESOME. AWESOME, i tell you.

(P.S. : don't read the rest of this post if you haven't watch the movie; and you plan to watch it, for a better watching experience, but if you are so curious and you don't mind, then go on)

The story basically is about a city called "Panem" which contains of 'The Capitol" and 12 other districts, each districts is assigned to supply certain needs for 'The Capitol". As a punishment to the rebellion which happen years ago, 'The Hunger Games" is created, and each year, one boy and one girl are chosen from each district to participate in this game. The Hunger Games is a game where all of the participant have to fight (read: kill) each other, until the last one standing, win. The game is broadcasted live throughout the nation and controllable by the government.

Katniss, 16 years old girl from district 12 volunteered herself in the 74th Hunger Games when her sister, Primrose was chosen (randomly selected, they use lottery system to choose the participants). Another participant from district 12 is Peeta, same age as Katniss.

What i love about the movie is how 'smart' the story is. The story is relate-able with the situation now (although not that extreme) how the government and the media is able to control the public and how the main character developed. Katniss is a smart, and tough outside yet soft inside girl. Her father passed away in a work accident, which caused her mom in a trauma for some period of time, so she has to support her family in a way. We get to see how she love her sister and how she survive in the arena which somehow gave a different appeal. To me, her character is very unique.

Whereas Peeta, on the other hand is a guy who is better in words, his strong point is in how he is able to grab the public to like him from his speaking skills. Other strong point is his strength since his family runs a bakery and he is used to carry the ingredients (flour and such). Peeta is also an artist (shown on a scene where he painted his arms for camouflage and he said that he decorates the cakes in his bakery). Although his character is not the strongest character in the movie (he is not the one that everyone thought going to win), he has his own way of seeing the game and is smart enough to keep him alive.

Both Katniss and Peeta are not really close to each other before, since Peeta came from a better family background than Katniss, they do met before, when Katniss was almost died due to hunger, and Peeta on the other hand just got scolded from his parents because he overbaked a bread. He gave the bread to Katniss, therefore saved her life and she felt somewhat of a debt to him which make her feel kinda awkward with him.

Later in the movie, Peeta admitted that he has a crush on Katniss since he first saw her at school. At this point i was quite unsure whether Peeta really had an eye on Katniss or it was just a trick to gain the public's attention (in the game, the more the public like you, the better it will be). During the game, I can see that Peeta tried to protect Katniss in his own way, which makes me quite sure that he does have a feeling on her. In the middle of the game, there is a change in the rule, 2 winners is allowed as long as both came from the same district, Katniss rushed to find Peeta, who is wounded and took him to a cave to help him aid his wound. Both of them also kissed, and gained a lot of sympathy from the public. Though i was sure of Peeta's feeling, i was not feeling the same way towards Katniss, whether she really likes him, or it was just an act to gain the public's sympathy and help Peeta's with his wound and also for them to win the game. Although there is a scene where she looked really panicked when she thought Peeta was dead (which made me believe that she has grown a feeling towards Peeta) at the end of the movie when they had win the game, their interaction towards each other is quite weird, which made me feel unsure again.

For sure this movie is not just about the romance, some of the killing scene is quite gruesome to watch (i close my eyes during the slashing and stabbing part, i never can't stand those kind of scenes) there's also some friendship part, Katniss' friendship with Gale, her childhood friend, and Rue, a participant from district 11. And i also like the survival scenes.

The saddest part of the movie to me goes to the part where Rue die and Katniss has to face the trauma of killing a guy from district 1 (after that guy killed Rue, i think she just attacked him by instinct to protect Rue)

The most awesome part is when she pointed her fingers to the camera when Rue died (i don't know how to explain this scene properly, it just feel so intense)

The sweetest part goes to when both Katniss and Peeta hides in the cave (pardon me for being such a romance freak) and when Katniss thought Peeta was dead.

But truthfully each scene is really awosome, i just love the story and everything. The buildings in 'The Capitol' and the Interior design on the buildings is just so futuristic. I am dying to know who is in charge of it. The movie is packed with everything from action, romance, intelligence, visual appeal, etc. It makes you feel tense, anxious, amazed, sad and even makes your heart fluttered.

So yeah, This movie is indeed worth to watch. And if you haven't watch the movie, i strongly recommended you to go to the nearest cinema, and go watch this movie. I also feel like reading the novel, as i heard that the book was even better. Worth to read as well i guess.

Some pics...

And yes, my habit after i watch a movie occurs again this time, which is, to become a fan of the male lead character!!

In this movie of course it goes to Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson). I actually dont know he is in this movie before his scene came out. Which also make this is his 2nd movie that i watch this year (Journey 2 and The Hunger Games), also not to mention i also watched Zathura, RV, Polar express,Journey to the center of the earth. And i liked him since Zathura (not until a stage of a huge fan though). Maybe he is one of the actor whom movie i watched the most too somehow. He is not that tall though, but he has his own charm indeed.

That's all for this post

May the odds be ever in your favor

Jess

I. want. to. do. runway.

do you know that feeling when you miss doing something that was one of your hobbies, but you can't do it these days because you had no time and chance to do it, and recently you saw a lot of people been doing it, and by watching it, you just feel like jumping, screaming, or doing whatever you can just so you can do that hobby of yours?

it was not a pleasant feeling, and damn i miss walking on runway. so much.

Summer

Annyeong! Just stopping by to share this song called 'Summer' by Joe Hisaishi. It was a piano performance actually. This song was performed by Kang Sora in WGM episode 6 when they had a date in Leeteuk's Secondary School. I just love the melody, it was very sweet yet playful and cute. Enjoy! :)

Here's Sora's version as well, ignore the viet subs. lol :p

Jess

Awright, i can't take it anymore! I have to share my current obsession here! In the last few post, i mentioned about a reality show called, 'We Got Married' and yes, i had been obsessed with this show since about last month. This South Korean reality show paired up celebrities and show us how their life would be if they are married to each other. It was already until the 3rd season now, and the first couple that i watch from this show is Leeteuk and Kang Sora couple which also made me in love with this show instantly! How they react towards each other, the awkwardness, the cuteness, the romanticness (i doubt this is even a word) made me feel so asdfghjkl. The concept of the show is really unique, i mean, where else can you see how Korean celebrities that way? Also with the mission and they even can get honeymoon, their own house and prewedding photoshoots (with a great concept and wardrobe indeed), oh, and even wedding ceremony. After finish watching all of the available TeukSo couple episodes (they are still ongoing couple, so i had to wait every week for a new episode) I ended up watching WooJung couple (Actor Lee JangWoo and T-ara member, Eunjung). This couple is not as shy as Teukso couple, but they also had that 'aegyo chemistry'. And also some random episodes from other couple, like Brave couple and YongSeo couple. I think this show made us able to see a different side of the celebrity, and even though some people said that it was scripted, i think it was only briefly scripted, maybe they were told that they were going to do this kind of activity today, but how they will do it and how they are going to react and talk to each other is based on their instinct. Yes, i believe the couples have feelings towards each other!! Especially TeukSo couple, please, get together for real!!! Okay, i seem very crazy at this point, i'll just post some pictures to sum up this post.

Teukso couple

WooJung Couple

aaa, maybe i like this show because i am unable to do those romantics stuffs so i can just watch it and adore how these celebrities did it. hahaha

Jess

Annyeong! Having my holiday now and just want to share stuffs about my current obsession, Super Junior's Leader, Leeteuk!

That's his solo part during ss4, i can only find the HD version when they're in Osaka, but the performance in singapore is just like that, except for the smaller venue. Hahaha.

will share more!

jess

Lyrics

[KYUHYUN] Oneureun mooseun irin guhni? Wooruhdduh uhlgool gateunguhl
Geuga nuhui maeumeul apeunge haenni? Naegen sesang jel sojoonghan nuhinde
[RYEOWOOK] Japangi kuhpireul* naemiruh geu soge gamchwuhon nae mameul dama
Gomawuh…oppan nuhmoo joheun saramiya geu hanmadi eh nan wooseul poon

[YESUNG] Hokshi nuhn giuhkhago isseulgga? Nae chingoo hakkyo ape nolluh wadduhn nal
Woorideul yuhnin gatda jangnanchyuhsseul ddae nuhn woossuhggo nan bam jisaewuhjji

[HEENIM] Niga wooseumyuhn nado joha nuhn jangnanira haedo
Nuhl gidaryuhdduhn nal, nuhl bogo shipduhn bam naegen buhkchan haengbok gadeukhande
[EUNHYUK] Naneun honjayuhdo gwaenchanha nuhl bol sooman iddamyuhn
Neul nuhui dwiesuh, neul nuhl baraboneun geuge naega gajin mogshin guhtman gata

[SUNGMIN] Chingoodeul jigyupda marhaji neul gateun norael booreuneun naege
Hajiman geuge baro nae maeuminguhl geudae muhn gotman boneyo…
[DONGHAE] Hokshi nuhn geunal nae mameul alkka? Woorireul aneun chingoo modoo moin bam
Sool chwihan nuhl deriruh on geureul naege insashikyuhdduhn naui saengil nal

[LEE♥TEUK] Niga joheumyuhn nado joha ni ape geureul bomyuh
Nawan nuhmoo dareun, nan chorahaejineun geu ege nuhl bootakhandaneun mal bakke

[YESUNG] Nuhl woollineun saramgwa, wiro bakke mothaneun na

[RYEOWOOK] Niga wooseumyuhn nado joha nuhn jangnanira haedo
Nuhl gidaryuhdduhn nal, nuhl bogo shipduhn bam naegen buhkchan haengbok gadeukhande
[KYU♥HYUN] Naneun honjayuhdo gwaenchanha nuhl bol sooman iddamyuhn nan
Neul nuhui dwiesuh, neul nuhl baraboneun geuge naega gajin mogshin guhtman gata

Translation

Good person

What happened today? It seems like you were crying
Did he hurt your heart? You are the most precious person to me in the world
The vending machine coffee I hold out to you is filled with the feelings I’ve been hiding
“Thanks… Oppa is such a good person” at those words I only smile

Do you remember? Me, who was hanging out in front of my friend’s school
When we pretended like we were a couple, you laughed and I stayed up all night

When you laugh I feel good too, even when you say it’s just pretend
You bring happiness to the days when I wait for you, the nights when I miss you
Even when I’m alone it’s okay if I can just see you
I’m always behind you, I’m always looking out for you, but it seems like I have to share

My friends are tiresomely telling me, me who’s always singing songs like this
But I know these are just my feelings, I can tell you’re in a different place…

Do you understand what I felt on that day? On the night we gathered at a mutual friend’s
On my birthday, when you introduced me to the drunk guy who had brought you
If you’re good then I’m good too but when I look at the guy who’s standing next to you
He’s too different from me, all I can do is say “Nice to meet you” to this shabby looking person

The difference between me and the person who makes you cry is that all I can do is comfort you

When you laugh I feel good too, even when you say it’s just pretend
You bring happiness to the days when I wait for you, the nights when I miss you

Even when I’m alone it’s okay if I can just see you
I’m always behind you, I’m always looking out for you, but it seems like I have to share

---

Been listening to this song lately, and kinda shock when i discover the meaning, i always thought it was a happy song --". why suju sing this sad song in such a happy harmony?? And it suddenly came to my mind that maybe it is because of the saying that, if we love someone, we must be happy for them, no matter they choose us or not.

Jess

(lyrics credit to : http://elflovesuju.wordpress.com)