How time flies, the last time i post anything here is when it is still December and suddenly, Bam! it's February already. End of February to be exact. Insane.
A part of me is feeling very bad for abandoning this blog, but you know how I hate to write about my problems, because when it's already over, I don't want to see any traces of it. If it's over, then it's over. Done. And I start to hate the fact that whenever i post anything, it would eventually end up with me writing about how lonely i feel because i have no romantic partner whatsoever. So, that's my reason for not updating. But well, I've been writing here for quite some time, so I kinda miss doing it some times, although i couldn't find the time to. So I guess today is finally the time to write a bit.
January was actually really good, I don't know what part of me is working but I love and miss it. I was so motivated to do my work, well yes, i still feel stressed at some time, but it didn't affect me much. And now i just realized that probably the fact that I am going back Medan during February for CNY is what motivated me. So now, when I am already back, and have nothing that I am looking forward to, guess what I've been now? The procrastinator again. I need to finish this stupid assignments but I just couldn't find the will to. Does this mean I need to find something to look forward to again? Let's see, the earliest that i can go back to Indo is probably around June, now it's still February, so roughly it would be in around 3 months time. 90 days. Not bad huh? Time to start crossing my calendar then.
I'll write again soon.


Jess

Future

Hi dearies, I just realized that I have no idea of what I wanted to do in the future now. In the past, my goal is to study Interior Design abroad, and now that I had achieved my goal, (and get quite disappointed by it because the college that I had chosen turned out to be teaching Interior Architecture instead of Interior Decoration). *sobs for my life* . Now I had no idea of what should I do in the future. Being an architect is obviously out of the picture. It's just not me at all okay, designing the exterior of a building, and blah3x.. No, no, I don't think that's me at all. So currently i thought of a few options :

The first one, after i finish my diploma at Lasalle (since there's no way i can step back, I suppose I just have to finish it right? Just another 1 1/2 year, and after all, i will still gain some skills that i can use in the future i believe), I'll work in a firm, while also taking class about Interior Decoration. And, build my future from there. 

Or, after finishing my diploma, I'll work in a firm and save my money and continue my degree elsewhere (hopefully London, or Melbourne) taking Interior Design, or perhaps Visual Merchandising, yes, I am interested in that area too, decorating shops, how exciting is that? Although i realised that i might need to study fashion and business as well if i want to work in that area. I won't mind, since fashion has always been a part of me.

And then there's my third option, after finishing my diploma, I'll go apply to be a... *drum rolls* stewardess! very random huh? I just think it would be fun, you know, I'd love to travel and see the world, and the pay is not bad you know, an SIA stewardess can get minimum salary of 3800sgd/month. Not including bonus. And i get to travel around the world and meet different kinds of people! Beside, i had been travelling alone using an airplane since i am in grade 6, so I am used to flying. And maybe after my 3 years work contract is finished, i can go study visual merchandiser or interior decoration, or fashion or maybe pastry! Oh i have a lot of areas that i am interested in indeed, I guess i just can't see myself doing a certain kind of job for my whole life. We only live once, so why not use it to learn various skills right?

So... what will i choose for my future? Honestly, currently I have no idea still, but maybe it won't be far from the three options that i listed here. (Except if one day i get so successful in Modelling maybe I might change my list again. lol) Any feedbacks regarding to my options? 

Jess

Christmas spirit

Yes, I know Christmas almost ends, but I can't help it! still feeling so Christmassy here, hahaha. Oh, i forgot, Merry Christmas! May the joy and peace of Christmas always fill our days to come.
So, today, I want to share some of my favorite Christmas tunes. Hope whoever who read this post and actually spend their time listening to the songs I shared would enjoy it as much as i do! :* Happy holidays!

Winter Wonderland (cover) - by J Rabbit


Let It Snow (cover) - by Kina Grannis


When You Wish Upon a Star (cover) - by Joanna Wang

The Christmas Song (cover) - by Kina Grannis & Joseph Vincent

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (cover) - by Megan Nicole


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (cover) - by Rod Stewart



Yes, i know, there are two 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas' song here, and i am not even sorry because, i love the song so much. My favorite Christmas track indeed. Well, i guess that's all then, Hope you had a very merry Christmas today.


Love,
Jess

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Seriously, how merry can I be, seeing the fact that i might spend my Christmas alone here. I know, i know God has given me chances to share it with some people. Some of my friend are still here and I am sure even my landlady wouldn't mind if i join her Christmas dinner. I guess i should be grateful for the condition I am in now, huh? I suppose i just wish that I can spend it with my family. Like how it always be for my whole life.
So, annoyingly, the feeling of loneliness strikes me again today. I read books, watch movies, about how people meet that special someone, and think to myself, when is my turn going to come? I mean, it seems so easy in those movies and books, you simply went for a walk, or go shopping or anything, and 'Bam!' you meet some stranger who'd somehow become someone very important in your life in just a few weeks or even days time.Yes, I know they're movies and books, fictions. But, they must be based on some kind of truth to be able to be made into books or movies right? Well, how can i even have a boyfriend if I am now not even close with any guy, come to think of it. How pathetic my life is really. Oh. another post about me nagging about the romance part of my life. How interesting huh? Well, maybe I am still single now because I am still unable to love myself, so how can I love others? Yes, I am not the most confident person in the world, I hate some part of myself, but I love myself in some ways as well. I have that bitchy-girl side of me, though I tried not to show it in front of others as much as i can, because I think too much of how I would look like in other people's eyes. I think too much I suppose. And hey, today i found out an acquintances of mine whom 'the-bitchy-side' of me thinks that 'oh, she looks like a person who is less attractive than me', you know, a nerdy kind of girl whom you'd think have a romance issue as well, and guess what, she got engaged today. if even that kind of person can find a significant other and i can't... then, i am much worse? My self esteem just jump off the cliff. Argh, what am i rambling here. Well, since no one is going to read this I guess then maybe i assume that it's okay for me to write whatever i want to write, to express what i feel. That's the point of having a blog rightt? ok, i am signing off now.


Jess

HOLIDAY

Freedom is in the air! Semester break has started since last Friday, and i've been going out a lot, which means spending a lot of money as well. Universal Studio and movie with my classmates, Dinner with my Indonesian friends, and movies and Korean food madness with my roommate, not to mention all the money that i spent to buy materials for my final assignments, and then it hit me when i check my account. I need to get a freaking job. Like as soon as possible. And yeah, I am not coming back to medan this holiday. Soo, two days ago i sent out work application like crazy to all the work ads that catch my attention, and yesterday i went for two interviews. so far I am quite satisfied with their offer, and thinking of working at both places, but i guess i still need to see how it's going to work out later.

Til then

Jess

Time to stop being a spoiled brat jess, like seriously. I think today i've watched and read enough things that should have made me realised how lucky i am to be here in Singapore to further my study. And how much i am loved by my parents. I mean, they have sacrificed so much for me to be here, and i should put nothing but my parents' happiness as my number one priority now. Studying Interior Design in Lasalle is not an easy major, all the assignments and high-demanding lecturers, but if my friends can handle it, why can't i? I may work a bit slower, but this just means that i need to work harder, in the end, if i can have great results, my parents would be ecstatic as well. And as a child, bringing a smile to our parents' face, and making them proud are the greatest things that we could do for them right?
I may start late, but late is better than never isn't it? and who says those who start late can't win the race? i'll show you.


Jess

Tsukema tsukema tsukema tsukeru~

Okay, let's say maybe i got a bit bored of korean pop...




I had no idea how the hell i found these songs but they're catchy enough to make me keep listening to it and quite addicted to it. Seriously the lyrics keep popping up in my mind..
and i still wonder why all female japanese singer seems to have that kind of high pitch voice....


Pon pon pon way way pon way pon way pon way way~
Jess