me and stupid

so problem's solved, thanks to my cousin and my best friend, thanks for the time, for listening to my stupid thoughts, and for giving me solutions. so it was just a dream, dream are only supposed to be a dream, nothing more, nothing less. well u can say i'm feeling much better now and i'm trying not to believe too much in supernatural things like that and just believe in God.

-have faith-

i dreamed..

last night, i dreamed that i lost one of my teeth, i googled for the meaning and i found out that it means that i'll lose someone in my family. call me superstitious but this scares me to hell. Please God, i beg for forgiveness if i ever did something wrong, but please, bless my family, God. I beg you. Please God.

- i pray, i pray, i pray -

exam is going to be over... yipppie??

it's already the 19th of august, which means my monthly exam is going to be over soon, but somehow deep inside my heart i don't want it to end. It doesn't mean that i love to stay awake 'til 2 o'clock in the morning to study, but well, you know what i mean dear bloggie... of course it's because of him, it always is. okay, let's drop the subject.

anyway, since it'll be holiday for the third grade science student tomorrow,so me, suvie and julia decided to take a short break from our studying routine and went to Thamrin Plaza to watch "The Expandables". The storyline is quite good, and it's full of great actors, explosion, and blood. Thank's God there is Jason Statham in the movie, so it's quite worth watching to me, cause i adore him. His accent and his acting too.

well, got to go, i'll continue next time
ciao

--don't stop believing--

so here i am...

so here i am...
doing what a gemini-an good at, which is multitasking.. i'm currently studying physics and on lining...
people might ask, 'how can you study that way?'
well, i don't really know how to ans it, but i cant concentrate well when i'm studying without doing anything else like on lining or watching tv (yeah, i do it everytime)
muhaha

anyway, i know it's already mid august and i haven't start my portfolio for my application to Lasalle yet =="
i hope i can start doing it after i finish my monthly test at school :)
i really want to get accepted in singaporeeee :(
i don't really mind whether it is in Lasalle or NAFA.. as long as it is in Design major and in singapore...
because if not, my mommy will send me to Jakarta.. and that sucks..
i hate jakarta traffic, and especially the fact that i have to stay with my relatives there..
i want to be independent! duh..
living with your relatives, is... i dunno how to say it but, for sure, it'll give you much more drama in your life, i already had enough...
i also haven't bought any ielts or toefl book to enhance my english skills, since i already graduate from my last course and i don't go to any english course now, so i'm afraid that my english skills will get worse...
hais.. so many drama...
but i know that this last year will be very "menentukan" for my future.. so i will of course 'use' this last year wisely..
need to get back to physics now, bye!


-- the greatest failure is not failing after we had tried sth, but when we afraid to try to do sth --
and so far, i've made so many failure then... ~.~

thank's God

thank you God for making my wish came true
i myself still can recall how amazed i was when that thing came true
thanks God, thank you so much. . .

some thoughts

School had started for a few days, and i dunno why but i feel that this year will be better than last year. It doesn’t mean that my new classmates are better than my old one. Well, i still can’t say anything about them though, since i don’t really know them well yet. But, i don’t know why, i feel that this year will be better :)

Anyway, i sat right on the back row, at the corner to be exact. Yes, right at the corner. So it’s pretty damn hard for me to socialize, beside with the two people who sit in front of my table, whom i don’t-know-why sit so far away from my table, and with my deskmate, suvie. So hell yeah, it’s pretty damn boring there. Thank God at least i still have the big window on my other side. Though there aren’t any good view to look at, i still can see the blue sky at least :)

When i was arranging my school book in my bag a few days ago, i saw his picture which i put right on my bookshelf, and it made me feel really grateful. I feel really grateful to know him, because if not because of him, i won’t know how does it feel to love someone. He is afterall from the start always the boy that inspired me so much, from his personality to every little thing of him. So though i can’t have him by my side, i always feel grateful to experienced this one-sided-love, for it taught me a lot if things too. Really, i’d never knew how patience i can be if not because of him, as i am usually the kind of girl who loathe waiting so much, but i don’t know how, i already wait for him for nearly 3 years now. It’s not an amazing thing though, some people might call me stupid i guess for waiting for a boy for so long, but the problem is ‘i just don’t know how’. Or maybe i don’t want to?

your smile is my drug

i'm not quite sure how to write it out, but i indeed feel happy today... maybe.. because i saw him 3 days in a row? i don't know.. but the last thing i know is that i smile with myself like crazy for a few sec after he flashed me his smile today.. okay, i'm quite sure that i had gone crazier.. but this is also the point where my dilemma start to grow bigger..and bigger.. i,indeed want to see him everyday.. all i want is that and if it came true, this will be the best year for me.. but how if i don't? now my eyes can't see anyone else but him again.. what should i do?