him him him

oh great...
because i mentioned him just now, my brain suddenly played a bunch of memory i had about him...
oh great...

now it feels so real...
his smile, his face, the stupid things i wish i had done....
oh dear...



::howiwishijustdontmentionedhiminmylastpost::

distracted

my fam will arrive in medan approximately in less than 12 hours..
and i'm still awake and eating indomie actually...
it's my fuel before goin' to bed..
lol :p


i just realized that...
i rarely talk (read : type) about him as often as i used to in my post
it's not that i dont love him anymore...
i'm just...
well,, trying not to think about him too much..
but.. i guess it's not working quite well =='
cause i dreamt of him oftener when i didnt think of him as much as i used to..
duh..


okay...
let's move on to another topic...
exam is coming (yes, i know, i know)
the only subject that i can do is Math...
oh God... i'm surely dying here...
as i think this monthly exam will give me more distraction..
you know.. my family is coming.. and as i can imagine it, there will be a lot of.. going here and there... and how can i study??
as i believe i'm not the kind of girl who will stay at home to study while all of my family member go somewhere..
duh..

oh God... please please please help me.........

God..
::please protect my family who will come to medan tomorrow... give them a save and great flight...::
God bless you, you, and all of you...


see y!

Hi there

Okay... so here i am...
maybe i'll online more this few days since i've got my internet connection back as what i had said in my last post...

i enjoy yesterday's weather more!
the breeze,and the gloomy sky..
what a great day!

the problem is,, it is very hot again today...
Yikes!

i go to school to attend my afternoon class and we're just doing some biology presentation as usual...
i still don't understand why the school don't just give us holidays...
since we're doing nothing at special at school anw...

well...
I cant wait for next week!
cant wait to see my family!!
woohoo...


keep smiling, stay happy, feel the excitement!

Spring Breeze

finally i got my internet connection + privacy back!
finally i can post sth...
it's been like months ago since my last post.. (no exaggerating,really)

anw..
my family will come to medan for the "cheng beng" tradition in this end of March..
but maybe i can't enjoy all the fun, because i have to face my monthly exam on the 5th of April..
*sigh*
but another anw...
i promise to study a lot better this time...
i have to raise my parallel rank you know..

and let us dance to the rhythm of the Spring Breeze...

see ya on my next post...
May God bless all of you...

stop being stupid!

for God's sake, i should stop spending my money stupidly... but the problem is that i had already become like my stupid habit also.. indeed i should start saving my money.. ouwh.. how i hope that i can do that.. because here i am.. at a salon.. doing pedicure.. i hope i dont get blamed for doing this.. (aku tak tahan godaan. . .) oh God...

just let me smile

so nowadays after all of the cries and tears and everything else, i decided to just let it flow... i'm going to smile too in the end,rite? so why should i think too much? i can act as sad as possible when i'm feeling bad and i can smile as shiny as sunshine when i'm happy, doesn't it sounds great? it is for me... LOL.. so you can say that im in a good mood today.. despite the drama thingy( nah, i dun wanna write anything bout it here.. too complicated ).. so... just let me smile.. -- i wanna be free; i wanna be new and different; be anything i'm not --

i dont know whom i should believe now

it feels like.. everything i do is wrong.. everywhere i am is wrong.. everything i say is wrong.. wrong.. wrong.. wrong.. i dont have any place i this world.. maybe my life is a bunch of mistake... and everything i have is destroyed one by one.. piece by piece... if someone knows where i belong, do you mind telling me where is it..? cause i cant stand everything anymore... i am just.. broken already... i am the girl who no one cares,no one loves,no one intend to pay attention to.. i am alone in this world.. yeah.. i knw that fact since i was a child.. that's why all i can do is keeping myself strong.. but now.. i dunno.. i'm just too weak already... too weak to support myself to keep on facing this life.... i really..really wanna run away...